The Official Lutheran Webpage

 

Martin Luther

Real Ultimate Power

 

 

 

 

Hi, this is site is all about Lutherans, REAL LUTHERANS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Hans and I can't stop thinking about Lutherans.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

 

Facts:

 

1.    Lutherans are mammals.

2.    Lutherans sin ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the Lutheran is to flip out and be justified by faith alone.

 

 

Weapons and gear:

 

 

Baptism   

           

                Book of Concord                  Beer                                                     

 

 

 

Testimonial:

 

Lutherans can absolve anyone they want!  Lutherans absolve people ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this Lutheran who was drinking beer at the pub on Sunday.  And when some guy dropped a spoon the Lutheran absolved the whole town.  My friend Guenther said that he saw a Lutheran totally uppercut some Catholic just because the Catholic was selling indulgences.

 

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you don't believe that Lutherans have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will catechize all your kids!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

 

Lutherans are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Lutherans are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and mildly inebriated.  I can't wait to start catechism next year.  I love Lutherans with all of my body (including my pee pee).    

 

 

Q and A:.

 

 

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Lutherans?

A: Lutherans are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap about the Pope, but on the other hand, Lutherans are very careful about administering the sacraments.

 

Q: I heard that Lutherans are always cruel or orthodox.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, Lutherans can be orthodox OR totally awesome. 

 

Q: What do Lutherans do when they're not confessing the Gospel or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent making fun of Calvinists, but sometimes they drink.  (Ask Guenther if you don't believe me.)

 

Jens showing off.

This is a picture of my best friend Guenther showing off.

He's a lot older than me and almost done with his vicarage,

which is bragable.